Woman Ten current lessons from 'Sex in NY' on feminism: from the vibrator to unapologetic singleness
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Perhaps it was the vision of the most glamorous Big Apple, the endless night parties, the open debate around sex or the laughter and toasts based on Cosmopolitans. We cannot identify a single thing that made the mythical series Sex and the City, which began airing back in 1998, a symbol.
Although the passage of time takes away our blindfold in some aspects, as is the case with historical television series such as Friends (where certain fatphobic or homophobic jokes collide), the truth is that this series that introduced us to the sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw , and her three friends Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda changed the lives and perspectives of thousands of women around the world.
They were four white, upper-class women whose obsession was with men, sex and luxury shopping, but they also offered us a very interesting look at feminism, motherhood, sexuality and female pleasure, sex toys, marriage and the different ways of understanding something as universal as love.
With the return this Thursday of the new sequel And just like that, we have gathered ten anecdotes from the series that bring together some of the most revolutionary and feminist themes around the six seasons and two films of the most fashionable saga on television.
Samantha and sexual freedom
If there is a character that breaks stigmas, that is Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall. Both in the sexual field, where she openly spoke of her freedom and her unlimited experimentation, up to the total breaking of the stigma of the single woman that she championed.
Unforgettable was the phrase he said to his partner, the actor Smith Jerros, when it was discovered that his life had begun to revolve around his, both professionally and personally: "I love you, but I love myself more."
Samantha Jones.
Other famous phrases left by the most shameless character of this group of friends are the following: "If I am dissatisfied once it is his fault, if I am dissatisfied twice it is my fault", "I am not going to let society judge. I'll dress however I want and suck whoever I want as long as I can still get down on my knees and breathe" or "I don't understand why women are so obsessed with getting married. We're single and awesome." Always controversial and always defending her right to sleep with whoever she wanted, when, where and how she wanted.
sex toys
"In 50 years, men will be obsolete. You can't even talk to them anymore. You don't need them to have children, much less for sexual pleasure. As I've had the pleasure of seeing," says Miranda Hobbes, played by Cynthia Nixon while have breakfast with her friends. "Looks like someone bought her first vibrator..." adds Samantha. "Not the first, the definitive one," she replies.
This is the beginning of a plot around the use of vibrators in which Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) will immerse herself until she even becomes addicted to it. The famous "bunny" that today is so normalized, back then it was something quite new and groundbreaking. And talk about it in such a direct way and in the first season, even more so. "I know when I will have my next orgasm, can any of those present say the same?" Miranda concludes.
Vibrators appear in several episodes, sometimes anecdotally and sometimes as a tool to open a debate or create comical moments about the misunderstanding and ignorance of men regarding the widespread use of sex toys among women. The feminine pleasure therefore is in the center.
The protagonists of 'Sex in New York'. HBO
Maternity
Charlotte and Miranda also joined the "bad mothers" club in the second film of the saga, where they talked between drinks about everything they don't dare say out loud and that horrifies them about having children. The feeling of guilt of not missing them on a trip with friends or that the biggest fear that her husband is unfaithful with the babysitter is that he "would lose the babysitter".
Both characters represent two very different types of motherhood, providing some diversity and opening the discourse around the different motherhoods and types of family. "Sometimes, as much as I love Brady, being a mother is not enough. I miss my job," says Miranda who, throughout the seasons, has reflected the complicated conciliation and challenges faced by a woman who she wants to succeed in her job while taking care of a baby alone.
Feminism
If we have to talk about feminism in the series, the passage of time and the recent new wave is making the character of Miranda Hobbes the favorite of the series. Since the first season, she has repeatedly dropped the importance of women's independence, her empowerment, and the need to love oneself above all else.
There are many episodes in which she complains that all the conversations in her friends' meetings revolve around men, and she directly criticizes any macho attitude that she sees in the relationships of her friends or in themselves.
One of the most reprehensible aspects is precisely the fact that feminism is not directly discussed at any time, and that the protagonists do not position themselves. Once again, an intersectional feminism is missing, giving voice to and narrating the stories of racialized women, from lower social classes, with ordinary problems, with conflicts due to their sexual orientation..., etc.
Scene from 'Sex and the City'. filmaffinity
Singleness
Being single in New York, something that is now almost a gift as the writer Vivian Gornik commented, is reflected as torture in the first seasons of the series, as if the search for a husband were the vital objective of the New York woman.
But the truth is that in many of the seasons the freedom of this singleness has been shown, even all of them coinciding in that situation and enjoying "solitude". "Being single used to mean no one wanted you. Now it means you're very sexy and you take your time deciding what you want your life to be like and who you want to share it with," says Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker).
She also speaks on numerous occasions about being single Samantha: "I don't understand why women are obsessed with getting married. I mean people just want to be single again, if you're single the world is your smorgasbord." In fact, she is the only one of the four friends who ends up not being part of a marriage.
toxic relationships
Perhaps this is the terrain where the series slips the most, as it romanticizes a toxic relationship like that of Mr. Big (Chris Noth) and Carrie, which (surprise) has a happy ending. This new season may place more emphasis on the murkiness of this romance, since it has been reported that it starts with the divorce of both.
Carrie and Big were married in fairy tale tradition, despite the fact that in the first installment of Sex and the City he stood her up in the New York Public Library as she was about to walk down the aisle wearing a Vivienne Westwood. Still, there was a wedding.
Scene from 'Sex and the City'.
There are several occasions in which her friends warn her of the toxicity of their relationship, although it is of little use, and it may be that in this new television opportunity she will be more present in the script.
A pinch of diversity
Another of the stars of Sex and the City is the character of Stanford Blatch, played by the recently deceased Willie Garson. He is one of the most beloved characters and in a certain way shows the challenges that a man in the Big Apple finds to find a partner among the LGTB + community, although a little more realism, a dose of solidarity and fewer stereotypes around him would have been nice. community.
Willie Garson with Sarah Jessica Parker in 'Sex and the City'.
In Sex and the City we find transsexuals and also plots with lesbianism at the center, such as when Miranda is more present in the law firm where she works because they think she has a relationship with a woman, a chapter that serves to denounce the facelift that companies were seeking by feigning false involvement and diversity.
Myths of romantic love
Charlotte, who embodies all the symbology of the traditional and old-fashioned sentimental relationships, believes that there is a perfect person who complements you, that better half that she now runs away from in feminism.
Given this, her friend Miranda expresses: "And what happens if you don't find it? Are you incomplete? That's terrible." Two very different visions of seeing love, which represents the female frustration caused by the search for that "impossible" better half.
The myth that expresses the idea that we are predestined to each other, very assimilated mostly by women, is put on the table, and although they try to denounce the situation, it is still not entirely clear which idea is the winner.
female success
All the protagonists are successful in their jobs, although we see that it is within that high purchasing power and of a privileged social class. In the case of Samantha or Miranda, they are leaders in their companies: law firm and event agency and manager of movie stars.
The protagonists of 'Sex in New York'. HBO
The girls from Sex and the City also talk about the glass ceiling, without naming it directly, but that they do suffer from it. They confront the paternalism that they find in their jobs and recount on several occasions the extra work they have to do to achieve the goals they share with their male colleagues. "I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it," said Miranda Hobbes.
Independence
The love and sexual adventures of the four New Yorkers not only take us to the streets, restaurants and nightclubs of New York, but the series inspired by a compilation of articles by Candace Bushnell published in the "New York Observer" opens the doors to much more. With 7 Emmy awards and 8 Golden Globes, she spread around the world some of the issues that most affected women, and although that diversity in the characters and a greater feminist involvement in the script are missing, she put great speeches on the table of empowerment.
A feminine strength and independence that are present throughout the seasons, because as Carrie Bradshaw says "the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself".
